Sadness, loss and big changes:
On July 29th I woke up in the U.C. Davis hospital ICU with an amputated left leg. It was amputated below the knee to save my life. Elijah and James were there sitting by my bed and told me the devastating news. I was not surprised since I had been warned by a doctor at Mad River Hospital that this was a big possibility.
It all started on the weekend of the 22nd of July when I was suffering from a gnarly flu (in which I was actually getting sick from a bacteria that entered through a wound on my left foot). My neighbor Jen begged to take me to the ER but I told her I would go on Monday morning if I wasn't any better. I woke up Monday morning and my left leg looked like I had cellulitis, as it was swollen and a huge black blister appeared on top of my foot. I had never seen anything like it, but later found out it was a bullae blister from the infection.
We went to the Mad River Hospital ER. After examination, I was admitted into the hospital and was there for five days as they tried to stop the infection with IV antibiotics and try to control the extreme pain I was in. I was so sick, heavily medicated and delirious, that I don't remember much about the five days that I was there. I only have the information that the wound care team and my sons and friends told me. And according to them, they were not pleased with the care I was receiving. They all wanted me sent to the city to a big hospital because I was not getting better. By Friday evening, I was near death and my foot and leg were unrecognizable because of the flesh eating bacteria that I had.
I was diagnosed as having necrotizing fasciitis which is a rare bacterial infection that spreads quickly in the body and can cause death. I had bullae blisters appearing rapidly causing the skin to break open and turn black.
After five days of not seeing any improvement, my sons demanded that I be sent to UC Davis hospital or they were going to grab me and take me themselves. It took awhile to get the doctors to agree to this and call for a transfer, but by midnight on Friday, they had an ambulance take me to the airport in Mckinleyville where I was airlifted to McClellan Air Force base where another ambulance was standing by to rush me to the ER at UC Davis by midnight.
I was at UC Davis for a little over 3 weeks. I had to undergo 4 surgeries, multiple broad spectrum IV antibiotics, blood transfusions and some medical complications from the infection and multiple surgeries. I was hooked to a wound vac and had to stay in bed until the wound vac came off. I had to relearn transfers onto a commode and in and out of bed. I was so weak and unable to do what I was able before the amputation. I was totally dependent on nurse care. I didn't think I would ever be back at home and be independent again.
I was brought home via ambulance and have had in-home health care nurses come 3 times a week to treat the wound and take vitals and other medical care. I had a physical therapist come once a week to help me with stretching and other exercise to keep my amputated leg from locking up so that I would eventually be able to get fitted for a prosthetic. Occupational therapists came regularly to help me with learning transfers and other needs I had to make life easier.
It has been four months and my leg is finally healed over and so now I can start to get evaluated for a prosthetic. I need one for riding my recumbent bike, standing in my standing frame and other physical exercises.
Right now I am in the depression stage of grief…It has been a traumatic event and I have some stuff to work through. The reality of my situation is super scary. I lost not only my leg, but my job and the ability to support myself financially. I have lost a lot of my hair from medical trauma and stress. I am still feeling ill and the pain is awful. And I have had to relearn how to transfer and manage without my leg, which I used to do my transfers to the toilet, bed and other tasks. I almost fell out of my chair a few times by leaning forward to grab something and losing my balance, forgetting that my left leg is not there anymore to support me. Although I do have hope, my hair stopped falling out and I am taking extra supplements for hair loss and immunity. I contacted the California Department of Rehabilitation and have a counselor calling me next week to talk about job search and/or training. My amputation is finally healed and I can start on physical therapy and fitting for a prosthesis. I will be able to go back to the gym to swim, although I am frightened to go back out in public without my leg..,especially wearing a bathing suit…at least I am able to cover it with long skirts while dressed.
This situation has been tough on my family and close friends. The boys almost lost their mother and Josh my oldest was there holding my hand when I was slipping away and he knew it and I was aware of his energy as he held my hand while I saw an angel and begged him to let me live, between the love of my sons and that angel, I am still here!
Elijah and James stayed in Sacramento for about two weeks and were by my bedside everyday. I would wake up and see them both sitting in the chairs next to my bed just staring at me. And when I would stop breathing momentarily, they were there to say “ Hey Mom”and wake me up. It was my Daniel who called down to UC Davis Hospital that Friday night to see if a bed was available for me…the doctor had not called for one and went home for the night…so Daniel went to tell the nurses that the doctor had not called yet and so they immediately got it worked out. My friends Rose and Vanessa came to check on me and were also worried sick that I was not going to make it.
While at UC Davis, Tara was an amazing support and came down to see me and bring me special gifts and the love in her heart for her Aunt April was so powerful and comforting. My friends Eve and Mike and Jana happened to be in the area and were able to come see me and bring many wonderful gifts. My friend Patrick and his family live down there and he brought me snacks and came just to sit with me.
We are all a bit traumatized by this event and life is now so different, my sons held on with mighty strength and courage and I am so glad to be called their mother. I am glad to be able to be here to watch my grandbabies and nieces and nephews grow up.
The doctors and nurses at UC Davis were wonderful and I am forever grateful to them. The staff at the Mad River Wound care have been exceptional with my wound care and were advocating for me to get sent south while I was at Mad River, they told me that they didn't think that they would see me again because I was so sick and the leg was not looking good. So many of my friends and neighbors have been so helpful and caring that it brings tears of joy to my eyes and my heart swells with love. And I want to especially say thank you to all the prayers, blessings and awesome support from the members of LDS in Mckinleyville.
I have another chance at life and hope to make the best of what I have left.
Here is an excerpt from a book I am reading, that really spoke to me : “Life still awaits us.For some reason we are still here.A life with a missing limb hadn't been in our plans. But it is still life.So we move forward the best we can. In the process, people with less visible struggles are inspired. Some of them are encouraged by us as their biases fall away and they continue forward with their own less-than perfect life.”
Alive & Whole Amputation: Emotional Recovery By Dee Malchow, MN, RN pg.110
Here is a link to the rare disease that I had:
Caution: Pictures may be too graphic for some.
These were taken right before the Surgeon did the amputation.
Picture of brace with drainage.. and picture of my healed leg...
This picture is a happy clean me, I hadn't had a shower in three weeks! And the other one is a picture of the ride back home in an ambulance..again..lol
My neighbor Lynne, kept my sweet peas watered and it was so pleasant to come home to the sweet smell and they were huge! Gypsy and Luna kept me company while I was on complete bed rest.
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